Married at First Sight: The Melanin Free Edition

Chile between my phone ringing (which NEVER happens) and TV, this turned into a midnight / insomniac post, but I’M HERE!!! I have a few words for the folks over at “Married at First Sight,” and they start with… How dare you…

When I saw the previews for this season I was immediately struck by the fact that they didn’t have any black people. After watching the matching special, I came to respect that they included diversity, but not black. I can live with that. They were looking to cross both ethnic and religious lines, and even included a single parent in the mix for an interesting experience. Cool. That was until I got to the end…

The experts were looking to match a sort of free spirited, part time college, part time work, not really interested in monetary wealth, black man who was specifically looking to marry a black women. Of the black women in the pool, the experts said:

“when i look at the African American women in our pool of eligibles, each one of them is highly professionally accomplished and requests a man that is at least her equal. I think they would really be disappointed in us if we gave them someone who was so unfinished at this point in his life”

I was immediately irritated as fuck for a litany of reasons.

  1. First of all, they made it seem like the black women were the problem, just too educated, too established, not this man who couldn’t pull it together. Like, how DARE black women want an equal. They found an equal for Jamie’s fucked up ass. They found equals for young ass Jason and Courtney. But NOW its an issue to want an equal… now it’s a problem.
  2. They picked THE MOST obscure black man to try to match. It was like they just threw him out there to keep the blacks happy… on some “look… we tried.” Not the black professional, or military man, or entrepreneur. They picked the jobless, free spirited ass black man with not a single bless-ed thing to bring to the table. Like a job is too damn much to ask. Way to go on perpetuating the “yall too educated” / “yall too choosy… take what you can get” / “any black man > all the educated fine ass black women” narrative. Patriarchy is so damn real out here.
  3. WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO MATCH A MAN THAT IS NOT THE FUCK TOGETHER?!?!?! If anything, they should have been moving mountains to match an amazing black woman to an equally amazing man.   I mean they wiped out an ENTIRE pool of beautiful, intelligent woman because one man was raggedy as fuck. How are we really here?!??!
  4. Black women really went up for this show last season. I remember live tweeting the first season and being struck by the OVERWHELMING number of black women watching this show. So to dismiss us as a whole because “too difficult?!?!”
  5. They have YET to really address racial nuances. There is a BIG difference in the way black people date and, in my experience, most other races. Not to mention our “unique” history in this country. The experts have YET to acknowledge that THEY missed the boat on some necessary cultural cues with Vaughn and Monet. They brought in a sex therapist, a chaplain, and everyone else but not a single therapist of color to speak to those issues. They literally just said black women are too hard so strike ALLUVEM! I don’t go to white hair stylists or dermatologists because some shit they just don’t get. *EYE* don’t believe they are going to successfully match a black couple without having a black expert to navigate cultural minefields.
  6. I noticed that of all the people that discussed “interracial” relationships on camera, none of them mentioned that they dated black. You mean to tell me not ONE of the white men was looking for a pretty black woman with natural hair… they love us. Not even the women mentioned liking black men, which is especially odd.

Honestly, I loved the show first season. And I really want to care this season. But, I’m annoyed. It seems like they pulled out all the stops to get black people the fuck on. I don’t know if it’s because Vaughn and Monet didn’t work out so they are trying to get 3/3 this season (see #5 above). Either way, I don’t like it. I’ll likely tune in at some point. But they need to fix this shit when they do the experiment in Atlanta. I’m so serious. They would be hard pressed to do Married at First Sight in Atlanta without black people. GET IT TOGETHER FOLKS!!