No More Room

“Your departure’s long overdue now… Loneliness its time that I let you go. No more roooooooom in my life… for yoooou dear.”

Only a few good things come from my emotional crises. A clean house and Emily King. My emotional crises generally stem from anxiety which leaves me feeling very out of control and causes problems with my sleeping which makes me less in control the next day. I think they call that a cycle. If I’m lucky, I’m close enough to the weekend so that I get a reset and sleep and feel better within a couple days. But this last time, my trigger was on a Monday. Fuck my life and everyone around me, right? By Wednesday I was feeling so out of control that I only wanted to control the controllables. The one thing I can control is my space. I found myself up in the middle of the night, with work imminent no doubt, sipping Bedtime Tea, listening to Emily King and cleaning. That, friends, is a silver lining. I felt incredibly empowered in that moment. Emily was telling loneliness to get the fuck on and I was symbolically clearing my mind and actually cleaning my space.