Recalibrating

I figure now is as good a time as any to talk about jobs and career goals, as I just got home from the day job that bores me to tears, to my night hustle, which I love and doesn’t even feel like work.

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Me most nights. Food. Wine. Laptop. Working on some clothes for my site.

I’m a very strong believer in divine order and timing. I’m also a firm believer that God will use the weirdest time to recalibrate your thinking. I had one of those jarring moments this week.

I’m interviewing for this job that I actually want with the company for which I’ve begrudgingly worked for the last 3.5 years. Then some true bullshit happened last week, and was semi confirmed this week. This interview process has been excruciatingly long. All along, I have felt really good about my chances of getting this job, sometimes better than others, but for the most part I’m qualified and I know my shit. The fuckery that happened earlier this week undermined all the hard work I put in during this long ass process. It threw me for a loop and I’ve been warding off some pretty aggressive anxiety.

But even in the midst of the bullshit, I’ve found solace in the little things and have taken the time to recalibrate my thinking. I’ve always wanted to be an entrepreneur. I always have a hustle. It is the one thing that has been consistent my entire life. So this situation reminded me that I have the tools I just have to constantly think of ways to do things better and on a larger scale. It also gave me some immediacy. Whereas I had been thinking “I’ll be working from home, I can wait on ____,” I’m reminded that this shit aint promised (*Bernie Mac voice* look at my face… do I have a promise face??!?!). I need to hustle with the same intensity as I did before this job became a possibility because that’s the ultimate goal.

Dope sign number 2. I had been thinking about talking to a friend about collabing on some shit. She and I kinda want to do the same things, but in different ways. She asked me to go to an event in a far off land (ok, 2 hours away) weeks ago. I wasn’t convinced I really wanted to go. But as I thought about it today, it seemed like the perfect opportunity for us to pow wow. With her looming nuptials, I didn’t want to hassle her but this is perfect. Furthermore, I really have to get the fuck out of this city before I start making unwise decisions. I need to connect with people that are genuine and know me outside of work. She’s one. The unwise decision I’m itching to make is another in a short short line here. So needless to say, I’m going to West Bumble.

Last sign was from a former mentor. I adore her but it came to a point where I felt I was letting her down so I just stopped reaching out. I wanted to get my shit together and not trouble her with all my dumb ideas. I wrote on my calendar that I wanted to reconnect with her by the end of this month. Lo and behold, on Monday she sent me a text (and some business). Can’t get much better.

I say all this to say, through this fucked up turn of events, I was reminded of the end game. I need to take this time to set some goals and get shit done so regardless of how this job turns out. I’ll be ok. I was always going to be ok.

 

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