I was a part of 2009 Twitter, like when everything was fun and celebs roamed in the wild. One of my favs during that time, and to this day, is Bevy Smith. I was so inspired by her entrepreneurial journey and decided to embark upon one of my own fresh out of law school. In her brand new podcast, “Bevy Says” she said she’s a “multi-hyphenate bitch” and of course the “YAAAASSSS”es came flying from the depth of my soul. She defined it as women who can’t be boxed in.
Before Bevy was a buddy of a college friend who we fondly spoke of as slash/slash because of her multiple job titles, and my Atlanta music industry mentor. I was always aspired to be a version of these women. I’m pretty much in there now… I’m a lawyer by education, and that’s cool. Makes me feel like peak educated negro. I’m also an entrepreneur that hustles clothes on the innanets… which makes me feel smarter than the average bear. And the occasional blogger, which fulfills my writer fancy. I just am who I am and by boxes I will not abide.
Facebook is good for somethings!! Today I came across this interview with Oprah, she always dropping gems and this interview is no different!! Check it out and post your thoughts, I am very much on this kick to change several things in my life and interviews like this are right on time. I hope that this helps someone else as much as it’s done a doozy for me…doozy in a good way….it’s an AH HA moment!!
It’s all fun and games until you have to make sacrifices.
Being a part time entrepreneur (working my way to full time) with a day job is the most challenging experience of my 30 years on this Earth. Add dating to the mix and you pretty much have a shit show. It’s been pretty exhausting to say the least.
It’s funny because I like to date guys who are similarly situated. You know – entrepreneural, driven, those type. They’re usually pretty impressed with my drive, that’s until it gets in their way When I say I’m working, but I’m not at an office – problem. When I’m unavailable for their whims on their days off – problem. I’m struggling to find the balance between what I need to do and making time to be social. Not to mention the guilt threshold – you know the point at which your well deserved turns too fun and you remember the mountain of work that awaits you.
The bottom line is being an entrepreneur is a whole other experience, especially when it’s not full time. It’s not a 9-5 and it can be difficult to explain why Sunday simultaneously is and is not an off day for me. How I can be home and busy working at the same time. Why I treat what looks like a hobby like a job. It’s not difficult to find a guy who claims to understand, but harder to find one who actually does.
A few weeks back when the SAE foolishness went down, rapper Trinidad James was invited to sit down with Don Lemon to have a interesting debate on the usage of the N-Word in today’s society. While he made some interesting points I couldn’t get past his appearance, I get it he’s a rapper and their supposed to appear flashy and what not but damn! Who ever dressed him for this interview should be popped! Outfit’s aside this was a spirited and interesting debate. Check the video below…
Marc Lamont Hill put this whole thing to bed with this statement…couldn’t find just the interview clip alone so feel free to hit stop it at 2:40. The rest of the guys statements were interesting enough but irrelevant to me.
Here lately it seems like everything is coming full circle for me and believe me I am not mad at all! For a long time I had always believed in speaking positive affirmations over my life, some how along the way I got caught up in the muck of life and forgot or lost connection with the idea that affirmations without action are simply pretty words. This week I was reminded in conversation with a few people that you have to set fourth an intention with those affirmations to make the things you want happen in your life. I believe that through God all things are possible but God helps those who help themselves. Either way you say it positive affirmations without action mean nothing, but positive affirmation with action is everything, just as through God I can do all things and God helps those who help themselves! I believe in going forward with good intentions, God will see you through anything! YES, YES, YES!!!
Shanel Cooper Sykes personified this message for me today so I had to share it with you!!
As promised this is the mud mask I made myself this week! Trying to dry these damn pimples that have decided to invade my face..urgh!! All products were bought in my local Whole Foods but should you not have one near by hit up your good girlfriend Amazon.com, everything can be found there as well! Now I do suggest doing a patch test on your face to make sure that your skin can withstand these products, don’t want any extra irritation on top of what you maybe trying to clear up!! Side note facial skin and body skin are DIFFERENT so please treat them accordingly, you need facial products and body products typically you cannot use the same products on the body on the face.
Also this mask can be made with water, or buttermilk the vinegar can sometimes be a little strong so try what works for you! Oh and I’m an eye baller, meaning I rarely I measure so my rule of thumb for a one time use is 2 tsp of the clay, 2 of the liquid (h2o, vinegar, buttermilk), 5drops of lavender
Mask Me Over
Briggs Apple Cyder Vinegar – is antibacterial/anti-fungal which helps prevent acne and skin infections, unclogs pores, oil controlling and helps to balance ph!! YAAAASSSS things I love to see in products I purchase, now I’m thinking bump buying bs I’ll just make it myself.
Now Lavender Essential Oil – good for reducing redness and irritation, reduces appearance of scaring, promotes healing, and semi oil controlling!! Nothing but good can come from this stuff!
Aztec Secret Indian Healing Clay (Bentonite Clay) – draws outs toxins, helps to heal skin/rejuvenate skin, clear/prevent acne, unclogs/shrinks pores, and reduces appearance of scars. Sounds like a miracle product right?? Why the hell didn’t I get this stuff before?!
The Main Ingredients
Years ago I was financially challenged so used to make all my body care to save some coins, pictured below are some of my fave items!! Meet Super Shea and HoneyBean, the large tub is raw unrefined shea butter, sweet almond oil and essential oils, the little jar is raw unrefined coco butter, manuka honey, and essential oils everything is handmade with love and works like a charm!!
Knowing when it’s time to move on from any situation is very important and more often than not I find myself in situations much longer then I should be. The latest precedence of that is my city or better yet the entire state. I’ve always said I wanted to live else where but I’ve yet to just pack up and leave, there always seems to be something holding me back or something I am holding onto, more recently I stated that I didn’t want to be too far from my parents but with the last disagreement i had with my mother I don’t see that sentiment holding true too much longer. Truth is I don’t know where I want to live which is why I haven’t really moved. I’ve visited a few places but the only city I can say I’ve ever felt home in was NYC, I just can’t get past the cold weather! I just don’t see how they do it year after year in that blizzard cold “oh girl I can’t be bothered with her!” I’m not a west coast girl so I don’t see it for Cali, I’ve never been there though so I can’t knock’em till I know for sure, Houston is nice and lastly there’s Miami. Miami just seems like I’d be on a never ending vacation, at this point I’m good with wherever God takes me. God picked the city I currently reside in and it’s not so bad so I’m not complaining guess I’m just wondering if it’s time for a change of scenery or something different to enter into the picture.
I figure now is as good a time as any to talk about jobs and career goals, as I just got home from the day job that bores me to tears, to my night hustle, which I love and doesn’t even feel like work.
Me most nights. Food. Wine. Laptop. Working on some clothes for my site.
I’m a very strong believer in divine order and timing. I’m also a firm believer that God will use the weirdest time to recalibrate your thinking. I had one of those jarring moments this week.
I’m interviewing for this job that I actually want with the company for which I’ve begrudgingly worked for the last 3.5 years. Then some true bullshit happened last week, and was semi confirmed this week. This interview process has been excruciatingly long. All along, I have felt really good about my chances of getting this job, sometimes better than others, but for the most part I’m qualified and I know my shit. The fuckery that happened earlier this week undermined all the hard work I put in during this long ass process. It threw me for a loop and I’ve been warding off some pretty aggressive anxiety.
But even in the midst of the bullshit, I’ve found solace in the little things and have taken the time to recalibrate my thinking. I’ve always wanted to be an entrepreneur. I always have a hustle. It is the one thing that has been consistent my entire life. So this situation reminded me that I have the tools I just have to constantly think of ways to do things better and on a larger scale. It also gave me some immediacy. Whereas I had been thinking “I’ll be working from home, I can wait on ____,” I’m reminded that this shit aint promised (*Bernie Mac voice* look at my face… do I have a promise face??!?!). I need to hustle with the same intensity as I did before this job became a possibility because that’s the ultimate goal.
Dope sign number 2. I had been thinking about talking to a friend about collabing on some shit. She and I kinda want to do the same things, but in different ways. She asked me to go to an event in a far off land (ok, 2 hours away) weeks ago. I wasn’t convinced I really wanted to go. But as I thought about it today, it seemed like the perfect opportunity for us to pow wow. With her looming nuptials, I didn’t want to hassle her but this is perfect. Furthermore, I really have to get the fuck out of this city before I start making unwise decisions. I need to connect with people that are genuine and know me outside of work. She’s one. The unwise decision I’m itching to make is another in a short short line here. So needless to say, I’m going to West Bumble.
Last sign was from a former mentor. I adore her but it came to a point where I felt I was letting her down so I just stopped reaching out. I wanted to get my shit together and not trouble her with all my dumb ideas. I wrote on my calendar that I wanted to reconnect with her by the end of this month. Lo and behold, on Monday she sent me a text (and some business). Can’t get much better.
I say all this to say, through this fucked up turn of events, I was reminded of the end game. I need to take this time to set some goals and get shit done so regardless of how this job turns out. I’ll be ok. I was always going to be ok.
You ever just feel so overwhelmed that the slightest inquiry someone makes about you sends you off on a tangent about how your life is spiraling out if control? Tuh, well that’s been me for the last few weeks and most recently I feel like I said too much and to the wrong person or people for that matter. Like just because someone asks you a question should you answer them truthfully? Meaning if they’re genuinely attempting to pull something out of you, should you be forth right with your thoughts?Understanding that there is a time and place for everything, is it ever a right time to express how you feel when your in an unhappy situation? All these questions come to mind because I’m trying to figure out where I’m going in life and what I want to do. Do I stay in a job that’s literally killing because it pays the bills and offers some sense of security or do I leave and take care of my health? I’ve made strong efforts to change my way of thinking and to remain more positive about my job, but at this point all has been done so at the expense of my health and all the work that I’ve done seems to be for nothing. I’ve asked for guidance from trusted friends, elders, and mentors, and no one has given me one clear cut answer everyone’s response has fallen on one side or there other causing it to constantly be split down the middle. I know the decisions have to be made by me,but damn if this decision making process hasn’t been hard! I’ve prayed about it and I recognize that I have to trust the process, but sometimes I have questions, sometimes I worry that I will make the wrong decision and then I come back to the resolve that if I prayed and asked God to fix what I cannot then I have to step out of the way and let God take over, if I believe as I claim to then I know that God has got it.
When I stopped writing and someone else took over:
There are things about myself that can be changed, there are things that I am actively working on every day but at the same time, just as hard as I am working there are forces going against my onward and upwards progression. What do I do? Should I change the direction I’m looking in? That is after all what I have done before, anytime I was unhappy in a job I left and started afresh somewhere else, found comfort in freeing myself from dead end situations. I need to trust the process and stay the course, while this may not be the time to immediately jump ship, this is the time to get things right! To show and prove through all the adversity and not to let anyone beat me! I am capable of all things, to whom much is given much is required, I am divinely chosen so all things I do are done through God.