GET THEE BEHIND ME MERCURY!!!

A friend was kind enough to inform me that Mercury’s bitch ass is in retrograde and that’s all I have to look forward to for the next couple weeks.

I believe in what astrological signs say about a person and that it has a real effect on the way we carry on in life. So when I was in complete shambles last week, I should have known something was up. I always seem to struggle when Mercury is in retrograde although I don’t usually find out until I’m one thread pull away from falling apart.  I haven’t been able to shake nostalgic feelings about the past and wanting to bring them into my present. I have a yearning to reach out to people from my past who are bad for me. Suddenly I want to move… I’m confused… and my life is upside down. Thankfully I know now that I should just hold tight on any drastic decisions until Mercury can pull it together. Is it June 11 yet?!?! shit.

Too Young To Have a Bad Back!!

So this weeks FUCK SHIT FRIDAY or Saturday at this point goes to my fucked up back and the current state of my sunny weekend gone wrong! As of friday I am currently laid up in my bed drugged up on pain meds, muscle relaxers and a damn steroid just so I can get around more like the 30 something I am and not someone’s 90 year old grandma as my doctor put it! FML this is my life, as accident prone Susie!

Till Next Week Peeps

Real Housewives of Melbourne

[I’ve started this post 4 times now with 4 different topics… I really don’t have it. LOL] I guess this post is Fuckshit Friday… and Saturday… and Sunday too at this point

Today, I shall share my love for the Real Housewives of Melbourne. I stumbled across it last year. Bravo played the first season in the middle of the day on Sundays. Like the other new franchises, I DVR-ed to binge watch at a later date. I finally watched over Thanksgiving and was instantly hooked.

Gamble, Janet, Jackie, Chyka, Lydia, Gina, Pettifleur

These women are the shit of amazing TV. Melbourne is what would happen if you put Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and Atlanta together. The result is simply EVERYTHING!!! My boos Chyka and Lydia give me so much Lisa Vanderpump. I mean… there is only ONE Vanderpump… and she shall NOT be unseated as my favorite housewife of all times. Just will NOT be outdone. But Chyka and Lydia give that I have too much money to be bothered with this shit moment that I live for. Chyka also has the nurturing, Yolanda-ish qualities that make her warm and huggable.

Gina is Phaedra Parks in every way, from her opulent (read: tacky) drag inspired jewelry, right down to her profession, as she too is an attorney. She’s also crazy just like Phae Phae. And a liar. Just like Phaedra, when called on her bullshit, Gina will lie or divert and then try to make other people think they aren’t smart enough to know what they JUST saw. Its entertaining. Gina just makes good TV.

Janet is this cougary lady. She’s often the scapegoat for conflict in the group. I don’t know… she doesn’t offend me but I don’t particularly like her either. She actually brings Orange County’s Vicki Gunvelson to the party. Frankly I could do without her.

New comers Pettifleur and Gamble are freaking insane. Gamble and Pettifleur give a sort of Brandi Glanville and Kenya Moore type presence, respectively. Gamble is like Brandi, except that she knows how to stop just short of needing her teeth knocked out. How Brandi has avoided hands all these seasons is beyond me. I wish they would do an Atlanta mashup so Porsha could tag that ass one good time. Like Gamble, Pettifleur knows how to provoke. She goes about it in a slightly more Kenya-esque manner… low blows and truth.

Finally, Jackie (Jacks) is just the breath of fresh air this season. All she cares about is launching her La Mascara drink and shinning. She’s almost like a fusion of Kandi’s low maintenance attitude regarding the other women, with Kim Zolziac’s fun/crazy.

 

 

Trinidad James

A few weeks back when the SAE foolishness went down, rapper Trinidad James was invited to sit down with Don Lemon to have a interesting debate on the usage of the N-Word in today’s society. While he made some interesting points I couldn’t get past his appearance, I get it he’s a rapper and their supposed to appear flashy and what not but damn! Who ever dressed him for this interview should be popped! Outfit’s aside this was a spirited and interesting debate. Check the video below…

Marc Lamont Hill put this whole thing to bed with this statement…couldn’t find just the interview clip alone so feel free to hit stop it at 2:40. The rest of the guys statements were interesting enough but irrelevant to me.

Simply Homemade

As promised this is the mud mask I made myself this week! Trying to dry these damn pimples that have decided to invade my face..urgh!! All products were bought in my local Whole Foods but should you not have one near by hit up your good girlfriend Amazon.com, everything can be found there as well! Now I do suggest doing a patch test on your face to make sure that your skin can withstand these products, don’t want any extra irritation on top of what you maybe trying to clear up!! Side note facial skin and body skin are DIFFERENT so please treat them accordingly, you need facial products and body products typically you cannot use the same products on the body on the face.

Also this mask can be made with water, or buttermilk the vinegar can sometimes be a little strong so try what works for you! Oh and I’m an eye baller, meaning I rarely I measure so my rule of thumb for a one time use is 2 tsp of the clay, 2 of the liquid (h2o, vinegar, buttermilk), 5drops of lavender

Mask Me Over

Mask Me Over

Briggs Apple Cyder Vinegar – is antibacterial/anti-fungal which helps prevent acne and skin infections, unclogs pores, oil controlling and helps to balance ph!! YAAAASSSS things I love to see in products I purchase, now I’m thinking bump buying bs I’ll just make it myself.

Now Lavender Essential Oil – good for reducing redness and irritation, reduces appearance of scaring, promotes healing, and semi oil controlling!! Nothing but good can come from this stuff!

Aztec Secret Indian Healing Clay (Bentonite Clay) – draws outs toxins, helps to heal skin/rejuvenate skin, clear/prevent acne, unclogs/shrinks pores, and reduces appearance of scars. Sounds like a miracle product right?? Why the hell didn’t I get this stuff before?!

 

The Main Ingredients

The Main Ingredients

Years ago I was financially challenged so used to make all my body care to save some coins, pictured below are some of my fave items!! Meet Super Shea and HoneyBean, the large tub is raw unrefined shea butter, sweet almond oil and essential oils, the little jar is raw unrefined coco butter, manuka honey, and essential oils everything is handmade with love and works like a charm!!

Butters Galore!!!

Butters Galore!!!

Can I Live?!?!

So much… just so much of what is going on in the world, hell in my world too, is perfect for a fuck shit Friday post. Let’s see – There’s Angie Stone knocking her daughter’s teeth out of her skull…. Creflo Dollar’s sheer, unmitigated GALLthe fuck ass police shooting an NAKED man north of Atlanta… just so much.

But I’ll not jump on any of those bandwagons. I just want to acknowledge how trill our president is with this twitter reference to “Can I Live,” one of my favorite tunes.

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And just for extra shits and giggles, check out Michelle Obama dance to Uptown Funk with Ellen. Start at 4 min mark and get into first lady’s extra foot tap and shoulder shrug. GIVING IT TO THE PEOPLE!!!

Happy Friday Folks!

 

In Defense of Bae, Amber Rose

I’m so sick of these fuckboys. It’s amazing to me how Kanye and Wiz have AWL the hoes to call Amber after both proclaimed her as this prize. KNOWING her stripper past and twerking for the gram present, they paraded her around in these streets and we were in awe because ultimately, Amber is bad as hell. It’s SO amazing to me how after a woman decides she doesn’t want the man anymore, she’s suddenly the bitch, ho, etc. Tuck in your hurt sirs.

Seriously Kanye?!?! 20 showers?!??! As if Kim has some sort of spotless record. While I don’t believe shes a sexual whore, despite being a media one, she’s been around the block a few times. How do we know? Because we were along for the ride. Kanye recorded a whole hurt ass album about Amber… about all the the things Yeezy taught her and then took away. And 20 showers!??! If he don’t get THEE fuck. Kanye was cheating on HER with Kim and HE needs 20 showers?!?

As for Wiz, that is the mother of his child. There should never be a time when he speaks so ill of her publicly. She’s kept everything pretty tame about the details of their breakup, noting that they co-parent relatively peacefully. So why so much!?!?

All the name calling is an unnecessary deflection of their hurt. Get that shit off your chest in a constructive way and move on. It’s like they didn’t want her but can’t stand the thought of anyone else having her. Grow up!

My only criticism of Amber is I wish she would stop picking the wrong ass men. There is life after fuckboys. See Rihanna or Eve.

Crystals and Chakras

Lately my friends and I have been getting into natural crystals that are said to activate or help certain chakras in the body. I’m not all that well versed in this crystal and chakra business, but the worlds good girlfriend google told me that chakra’s are spiritual points within the human body and apparently there are seven with the right crystal you can balance, harmonize or stimulate a certain chakra. About a month or so ago I visited a local shop called The Aquarian Bookstore, I literally went into to pick up items for a friend had no intentions of learning shit about chakras and what I thought were just shinny rocks nor the pretty geodes from elementary science class. The Aquarian Bookstore is like shock to the senses, when you walk in it’s bright and colorful your eyes are drawn to every square inch there is something on every surface, an interesting scent wafts through the air not too strong though but just enough to let you know there’s something different about this store. Searching for the items my friend needed, I ended up buying three crystal bracelets…

I wear them all the time now...not sure if they work or not but I've noticed a few changes so I'm happy!

I wear them all the time now…not sure if they work or not but I’ve noticed a few changes so I’m happy!

Aquamarine, activates throat chakra for clear communication...so what I needed!!

Aquamarine, activates throat chakra for clear communication…so what I needed!!

Amethyst, Intense beam of high spiritual love. Clears negativity, bestows stability, strength, and peace.

Amethyst, Intense beam of high spiritual love. Clears negativity, bestows stability, strength, and peace.

Rose Quartz,  crystal of unconditional love, soothes and heals emotional wounds and helps calm high energy.

Rose Quartz, crystal of unconditional love, soothes and heals emotional wounds and helps calm high energy.

Still don’t know about all this stuff but it’s interesting and I’m learning a lot!! If you know more feel free to enlighten us…the more knowledge the better!

Reasons Why Kanye Can Sit His Black Ass Down

Look. I’m a Kanye, well Kanye pre-Kim, fan. The guy is musically brilliant. Cool. But I think we can all agree Yeezy could sit the fuck down sometimes, yes? Here are my top reasons:

1. Beyonce don’t need Ye caping for her.  Beyonce is very accomplished in her own right. She has 20 grammys. She is in no way underrated, hell I’d argue a bit overrated. (I like her but I STAN when she makes more emotional music a la 4.) She’s chilling. HER husband is chilling. She don’t need you on this one Ye.

1.5. I never see Ye going up for the REAL underdogs.  Not a word when Janelle Monae got snubbed last year, despite Electric Lady being a beautiful album both sonically and in content. But he can find ALL the words for Beyonce. Bye Ye.

1.75. Ye and Beyonce are NOT the only two artists on the musical landscape with talent. Just because he doesn’t rock with Beck or whoever the hell else doesn’t mean they aren’t worthy. Hell most of the artists I rock with don’t get the acclaim they deserve. I’m pretty sure my iTunes reads as ALL the future seasons of Unsung.

2. This fashion shit is wearing me thin. Truly. His fashion tantrums are the dumbest ones of all. Dude has Anna Wintour, Ricardo Tisci, an’nem on speed dial and couldn’t make a fashion moment work?!?! I guess it never occurred to him that maybe it’s NOT discrimination. Maybe he’s just NOT that damn talented. I follow fashion from a business perspective. I know that it is rife with discrimination, but nothing his privilege, wealth, and connections couldn’t overcome.

I’ve never seen anything that Kanye designed that really looked signature or original (I mean flight jackets sir?!?). I take that back. His first Louis Vuitton sneakers were dope as hell. Actually, his sneaker designs are good. NEVERTHELESS, his first runway show was Kim’s closet – a bunch of Herve Leger. All his other clothing collaborations have looked like a dumbed down version of Alexander Wang or The Row, WHICH MEANS ITS BASIC AS FUCK!!. I mean Wang and the Olsen waifs are flourishing off accessories and outerwear but I would NEVER pony up for some of their basic ass black and white clothes. His shoe collaborations with Giuseppe Zanotti were better-ish. But, they just looked like “standard” ass Giuseppes. And the bullshit called a fashion show yesterday?!? Girl, bye. I say all of this to say, no one is checking for Ye in fashion, not because he’s black, BUT BECAUSE HIS CLOTHES JUST AREN’T THAT DAMN GOOD. Tell him North!!

3. I left her for last because I can’t stand her ass – Kim. I’m not EVER going to see it for Kim. Kanye is like that cousin that marries the bish you’ont like and tries to force her on you. I aint like her ass then, and I’m not gonna like her now that you married her. He really has to make peace with that shit and stop trying to convince us of the many reason Kim is great. We don’t want her.  Bey doesn’t want her. Anna doesn’t want her. He wants her. We tolerate her because we still want Ye, for now. Dude gotta chill.

(but seriously… can we discuss this picture?!?!? Diddy/Puffy/whatever is like “this shit here,” Jay is perplexed, Bey is sitting in all her black mama “this is why Blue is not here” judgment, and Anna is trying not to get hit. I’m DYING!!)