I’ont know if marriage is my high calling. I’m just going to be honest with myself. The mere thought makes me shudder. I look around at my friends that are married with kids and can’t think of a single thing I want to do less. But I’d like to chill out… maybe be in a relationship (Read: Have more regular secks, since I don’t have any cut friends anymore *sigh*). Here’s the shit that trips me up in dating:
- I’m a guy on the inside. No, no. I’m not the trash ass Steve Harvey’s “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man,” girl/guy. My NATURAL instincts operate like a dude. Ego and all. Most of the guys I have dated confirm this, as do my friends. I CAN be “pink” and girly, but THAT’S what requires effort. I’m a mess.
- Making someone else my priority. Like. I want to do better with this. And I try sometimes. But when I’m living the slash/slash life, I can’t drop everything I’M doing to make a guy feel important.
- a- spontaneity is no longer a thing for me, unless I’m really interested. I have shit to do.
- I like to juggle *snickers.* What can I say?!?! I like variety. I usually end up dating a couple different guys for their strong suits. And when the negatives pop up, I just go to the next one until the previous one has a chance to chill. Ultimately make my dream guy out of any number of suitors (which also leads me to question monogamy… another post for another day)
- I’m super free spirited [Read: commitment-phobic]. That often means moving or traveling. A relationship [usually] requires some form of settling down and committing to a place and person. I’m not about that life.
- I’m “meh” on kids. I think most people settle down because they want children. With that off that table, what’s the rush?!?!
Everyone told me I’d change my mind when I was older. 28 they said. I’m 30. Whatever switch that makes most women want to sit down… I must aint get one. I’m going to have to find another wild thing and we can run off and be wild together.